Hello Reader,

Recently I saw a comment on a facebook ad asking what to do for their sensitive child who was having trouble with school. According to the commenter, the teacher was trying to fit their child into a box of conformity.

One person responeded, "homeschool."

Then someone called them out for being privileged.

Then, the coach who published the ad said something about there being no need to homeschool because you can help your child be more resilient and thrive in that environment by being a strong leader and helping them learn how to handle situations like that.

Y'all.

Even if our relationship never goes beyond this message right here, I want you to think critically about that message and be ready to back away from anyone who's trying to sell you on it.

Your child does not need to learn to tolerate people who prioritize conformity over their well-being or place artificial limits on them. For example, they do not need to just accept the first grade teacher who tells them that they can only read books from the first grade list, even though they are reading at a fifth grade level.

They don't need to tolerate people who are crushing their spirit and demand that they conform.

True, these situations come up, and we want our kids to learn to handle them. But putting all the emphasis on your child's resilience and zero emphasis on holding the system accountable for providing an educational "right fit" is misguided.

Lead with listening.

Believe your child.

And help them figure out how to cope, but do it alongside exploring other possibilities.

It doesn't have to be homeschool.

Not everyone is prepared or able to homeschool (although it is likely more accessible than you think).

It might be working with the teacher.

It might be transferring to a different teacher.

It might be transferring to a different school.

Give yourself some time, keep listening, and keep helping them figure out how to cope with their circumstances. For now.

And remember, sometimes the environment makes all the difference.

You are setting them up for success, not failure, by looking for an environment that is the right fit for them.

Your partner in parenting,

Julia McGarey

PS

I coach parents on all stages of their journey parenting their highly sensitive, gifted, and twice-exceptional children. Whether you are looking to change your reactions, create more connection, or navigate a difficult transition, I'm your coach. The first step in working together is to schedule a one-hour consultation to see if we are a good fit. Click the button below to claim your spot in my calendar.

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