profile

The Lifeline

Rules, rules, rules

Published 10 months ago • 1 min read

Hello Reader,

So much I do as a parent goes against "the rules."
​
You can find whole books written about the rules.
​
You can find rules for every aspect of childhood and parenting.
​
More important than following them, in my mind, is questioning them.
​
Question the validity and the necessity.
​
Question who wrote them and what their intention was.
​
Do it even for the things you have always engraved as givens.
​
Do it because you value your relationship with your child and their mental health over control.
​
Because most of the rules out there, even ones that claim to put love first, were designed to put parents in control.
​
Most of us have never seen examples of solid, "out of control" parenting looks like. Just made that up, but I like it.
​
The messages about control are so strong that letting go of it feels really uncomfortable.
​
But we are in the game of raising autonomous human beings.
​
We need to dare to let them test the waters.
​
With the support of an adult they trust not to treat them differently if they make a mistake (that's where the relationship part comes in).
​
Less control. More autonomy. More connection and trust.
​
If the rules you follow aren't in service of these three things, why are you following them?

​

Your partner in parenting,

Julia McGarey

​

PS

Are you looking to build more trust, connection, and autonomy into your relationship with your child? Coaching together might be a great fit for you. Schedule a consultation and we'll explore the possibilities.​

The Lifeline

by Julia McGarey

So you say you're feeling overwhelmed by this whole parenting thing? Your child is intense, strong-willed, has big emotions, and you are just hanging on? Or maybe they are slow to warm up and getting them to do anything new feels like a struggle... Wherever you are, it can feel isolating when everyone around you seems to have it so easy. And they're so full of advice, but it just doesn't work for your child. Welcome, friend. The Lifeline is my weekly-ish email for parents just like you. You are not alone, and you don't have to grit your teeth and just get through it. You can change the dynamic within your family. You can reclaim your life. One day at a time. One email at a time. I can't wait for you to join us.

Read more from The Lifeline

Hello Reader, My fingers feel a bit rusty as I type this to you this morning. 2025 has been quite a year, hasn't it? And it's only March 1st. When the world is swirling around you, unexpected life changes are cropping up, and your child still needs your support more than ever, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. And it's even worse if your partner isn't on board with your parenting, or your friends have kids who sleep through the night, love going to school, or any other number of things kids are...

4 months ago • 2 min read

Hello Reader, Well, it's 2025, and I've been out of touch. Rather, I've been focused. Focused on creating a homeschool balance that works for us, focused on supporting my clients, and focused on co-creating a school alternative for families in my community. I've come to realize that creating alternatives is my primary form of activism, really, and I have long been an activist at heart. My main purpose with Partnered Path Parenting, for example, is helping families explore alternatives to...

5 months ago • 2 min read

Hello Reader, I’ve been quiet for a while. My grandmother passed away on September 28th, and it was hard to write about anything but that. Channeling my thinking into usable, relevant chunks for parents was the last thing on my mind. I was revisiting memories, thinking about my younger self. And honestly, I know that version of me would never have imagined that I could be someone who would write about one topic every week for six years. I have a rainforest mind, after all. Sometimes I’m not...

8 months ago • 4 min read